Day 10 and I thought I would get up and start doing something other than rest today. I made our morning beverage, him his coffee and me my French Vanilla cappuccino. I sat down and drank my drink and all of a sudden the tears came flowing down my cheeks. I sobbed.
I felt down and I felt if I was falling into a dark hole and I tried to climb out and the harder I tried to stop, the more I cried to the point, that I just let them come.
My husband was to no use to me. Did he understand what I was going thru? Yes he is currently in remission from invasive melanoma, but is it the same or is it different? Cancer is cancer, but I’m new at this, he was a pro after four surgeries and faced it differently after the second surgery.
I sat and thought about everything I lost with the uterus, tube, ovaries and cervix and realized it wasn’t anything I needed anymore. I’m not doing what I hoped to be doing today, was cleaning our house, it’s currently on hold till I heal and everything else, nothing changed. I still played games on my phone and computer, I still write this blog, I still watch TV, so I had a little bump in my life. Bumps are just little hurdles, it’s a hiccup in life and I know I can get across it.
The tears started to a slow and finally I made it to a stop. I gave myself a hug and decided I that the past few days were easy, a Total Hysterectomy and then a severe eye lid infection.
I guess I just needed to let it out and I remembered that I seemed to work wonders in the past and it still worked now.
I took a shower, shaved, ahhhh to have hairless legs again and get dressed to go food shopping. Some things never change….